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Dealing with Aging Parents
by Nikki Willhite
It can be hard to watch our parents age. I remember my mother
telling me that if she fell down, she couldn't get up. I couldn't understand
that at the time. Now I'm getting a little more sympathetic!
It can be heartbreaking to take care of a parent with a terminal
illness, and to watch them die. However, it can be equally hard to
try and help them as they age, especially if you are also trying to raise your
own children. With so many couples waiting so long before having children, this
is often the case.
Most elderly people prefer to remain in their own homes, if
possible. In order to do so, it may require your help. If your parents have a
lot of money, they can pay people to help them, both inside and outside the
home. They can hire people to shop for them, take taxi cabs when they need to go
somewhere, or pay for skilled nursing care.
If they have long term health care insurance, and are unable to
do things like showering for themselves, they will qualify for skilled care in
their home. However, long term care is expensive, and few people have it.
If you are a child who is taking on the role of being a caregiver
to an aging parent, here are some things to remember.
- Your parents bodies my look and act old, but their heart and
soul are still young. Always treat them with the dignity and respect they
deserve.
- Let your parents talk to you. Even if you've heard it before,
let them talk about the things that are on their mind.
- Show your parents you still remember all they did for you by
remembering dates of importance, such as birthdays and anniversaries.
- When your parents lose their ability to drive, don't encourage
them to sell their car. It is a major blow when you can no longer drive. Let
them decide when the time is right to "let go" of their vehicle.
- Pick a day of the week, and set aside a few hours to help your
parents. This way your parents will have a feeling of security, knowing that
help is available, and can they plan their trips to the doctor, shopping, and
other needs during this time.
- If you have children that drive, encourage them to take your
parents out, and give your parents the opportunity to spend time with them.
- If your parents are struggling financially, and you have the
money, help them out with a bill or two. If their eyesight becomes impaired,
schedule time to help them pay their bills.
- Don't be pushy. The more your parents can do for themselves,
the more in control they will feel. Offer assistance when you think it is
needed, but back off if it is declined. Unless you see some major problems, let
them do things their way, even if it is slow or not how you would do things.
- If your parents like to read, suggest trips to the library.
If their vision is poor, look for large print books. If your parents aren't
"technically challenged", introduce them to the Kindle, which makes reading very
easy when you change the font size.
- Be sure and include your parents in as many family events as
possible.
- Show your parents you love them by your actions, as well as
what you say to them. Parents never....never....never get tired of hearing the
words "I love you" from their children.
About the Author: Nikki Willhite,
mother of 3 and an interior design graduate, has been writing and publishing
articles on the topic of
frugal living for over a
decade. Visit her at
www.frugalhappyfamilies.com
- where you will find hundreds of frugal living tips and articles. Frugal
Happy Families- more than just money!
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