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Ten Ways to Have More Responsible Children
by
Mark Brandenburg
We’d all like our kids to develop into responsible people. How
can we help to ensure that our kids learn the lessons of responsibility? Here
are some ideas:
1. Start them with tasks when they’re young. Young kids have a
strong desire to help out, even as young as age
2. They can do a lot more than you think, if you’re patient
and creative. This helps build confidence and enthusiasm for later tasks in
their life.
2. Don’t use rewards with your kids. If you want your
kids to develop an intrinsic sense of responsibility, they need to learn the
value of the tasks they do on a personal level. They won’t learn it if they’re
focused on what they're going to “get.”
3. Use natural consequences when they make mistakes. If they
keep misplacing their baseball glove somewhere, let them deal with the
consequences. Perhaps they'll have to ask to borrow one for the game. Maybe
they'll have to buy a new one if it’s lost. If you rescue them every time they
screw up, they’ll never learn responsibility.
4. Let them know when you see them being responsible.
Specifically point out what you like about their behavior. This will make it
more likely to continue to happen.
5. Talk often about responsibility with your kids. Make
responsibility a family value, and let them know it's important.
6. Model responsible behavior for your kids. This is where
they’ll learn it from. Take care of your stuff. Try to be on time. Your kids are
watching you very closely.
7. Give them an allowance early in their life. Let them make
their own money decisions from as nearly age. They’ll learn their lessons in a
hurry. Don't bail them out if they run out of money.
8. Have a strong, unfailing belief that your kids are
responsible. They'll pick up on this belief, and they’ll tend to rise to the
level of expectation. And keep believing this, even when they mess up!
9. Train them to be responsible. Use role play and talk to
them about exactly what kind of behavior you expect from them. It’s hard for
kids to be responsible when they don’t know what it looks like.
10. Get some help and support for your parenting. It's hard to
know sometimes whether you’re being too controlling or too permissive as a
parent. Talk to other parents, read books, join parent support groups, and
whatever else will help you feel like you’re not alone.
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to
balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty
minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE
newsletter, go to
http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at
mark@markbrandenburg.com.
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